Born with a mouth and the wonderful tool of a tongue that you can wrap around these things called words, in order to express oneself. The gift of the spoken word, of a language so colourful so variable that it can take you to a myriad of places. Close your eyes and these words can create scenes in your brain, you can journey through time without leaving the comfort of your armchair! How strange it is then that the art of communication is not taught more robustly.
It’s a gift….the art of communication is a gift and yet how many of us have been taught to communicate effectively? The spoken word so potent, words that create such magic, that can take you on a journey beyond your wildest expectations.
I’m thinking now of my childhood, born in 1959 one of six siblings, a mother and a father, I don’t recall much in the way of communication, at least not with adults. We were very much the generation of kids that were ‘seen and not heard!’ There were no stories, no sense of history, no cosy chats by the fireside or round the dinner table. No words of comfort when struggling with emotions. My dad was easier to talk to as I recall, very approachable, gentle, kind and compassionate with little pearls of wisdom that he freely shared. He took the time to listen and he never made me feel silly. He was however a very quiet man, perhaps that’s why I remember the few conversations I had with him so vividly. I so wish he hadn’t died so young, not just for me but for all my siblings.
School was not much better, I don’t remember my opinion or in fact my sense of being feeling like it was of value. Teachers were distant, one spoke only when spoken to! The classroom was not a place for discussions, the commands of “Be Quiet” frequently barked from a disgruntled teacher. No debates about politics, about the issues of the world or even closer to home.
No, we weren’t taught to communicate not back then. We had no voice, not privy to adult conversations. Very much segregated, put in a little box and yet it’s so very important isn’t it. Not only to be able to voice your feelings, thoughts or experiences but also to be able to hear and appreciate another’s. To be able to have a different view and know that it would not be dismissed. I’m sorry to say that as an adult I’m not sure I got it right with my own kids either, though I did spend a lot of time with them and I do remember having long conversations with both of my children but I’m not sure that I truly listened or validated what it was they said, I’m not sure how effective those communications were. I think kids are listened to more these days, but is it any more effective? The modern gadgetry of today worries me, phones in hands as they walk down the street, or sit with their friends. Clearly they are communicating but I fear not with much art!
It’s how wars start isn’t it? This inability to be able to communicate, an all to speedy readiness to use physical force, the hand, the fist, the knife! I look at the world today and feel such despair at times. At the suffering. I look at families (my own included) and am filled with such sadness at the dysfunction within them and all because the ability to communicate effectively has not been present. Why oh why are we not investing in the art of communication?
Rachel’s blog 